Working at Being Intentional in My Prayer Life…Every Day
God was there despite what felt like insurmountable obstacles.
I’d like to introduce myself. I am a grateful believer in Christ who struggles with depression, anxiety and anger, and I have been redeemed from the strongholds of my alcohol addiction for almost 10 years.
Sitting here reflecting on what my life looks like today… I have relationships with all of my children; my wife and I have an awesome marriage and will be married for 24 years on June 3; and (despite some hard-fought battles with depression, anxiety agoraphobia and severe panic attacks brought to the surface from some acute health issues) I haven’t really struggled with my mental health for the better part of a year.
And I get to tell my story almost daily. (That’s amazing!)
One might argue that it is easy to see how God has answered many prayers in my life. While this is definitely the case…if I was to be completely transparent, most days, with the velocity of a life with four kids…two who play multiple sports, one who is currently in college, and our oldest is arguably one of the best and busiest barbers in Central Pennsylvania…it can be really easy to turn on auto pilot.
I personally have to be really intentional about connecting and hearing from the Holy Spirit and the direction He wants me to proceed with in every aspect of my life.
I wish that I naturally had the discipline, perseverance and resilience that my wife, Jennifer, has. She truly is the glue that has held our family together.
I was recently reminded that, for about 10 years during the worst of my addiction, my sweet wife laid hands on me every single night and prayed a prayer that couldn’t have been easy to pray. She prayed – not to be removed from her current situation, and not even for my addiction to be removed from me – but she prayed that I would somehow reignite a relationship with the One who knows me best.
I have had many conversations with her about how she could possibly lay hands on me given the wake of destruction that I often left on any given night. Her answer? She says she knew, if that happened, the rest would take care of itself.
By praying for what she did, she gave our family the best opportunity for hope, healing and wholeness. That took a faith that God continues to use to propel our family into His plan and purpose for our lives, despite what, at times, seemed like insurmountable obstacles.
So, what does intentionality in my prayer life look like on a day-to-day basis?
First, I think it is really cool that we no longer have to submit our requests to anyone. We can connect with the Creator of the universe at any time…morning, noon or night, and talk to Him…have a relationship with Him.
A pastor friend once said to me, “Yes, Jesus wants you to step off the boat to Him. But He also wants you to chill on the beach with Him.” Isn’t that crazy and awesome? The Creator of the universe wants to chop it up with me simply because He loves me.
So, most days I start out by free writing three pages of notes and doodles…whatever comes to mind, I write. Next, I read a devotional or Scriptures. I am blessed that, on any given day, I have no less than four Scriptures sent to me via text from friends and those close to me.
Next, I listen…then I talk to Him…and then I listen again. I try to listen more than I talk because, when I’m talking, He is listening and, it’s my belief that He is smarter than me. I have an ongoing dialogue in my head with God on most days.
And this always brings up the question, “How do you hear from God?” Which rings in the most important tool that I utilize, which is my journal.
It, like my mind, is a mess at times, but I’ve learned through my recovery and walk with Jesus to share all of my thoughts in it. It spends most days with me in a backpack, on car rides, on airplanes and in restaurants. It has been my trusty companion for the better part of 10 years.
Through my journal, God spoke to me about The Landing when I was only six months sober. It holds Sunday sermon notes and doodles, as well as thoughts and reflections on what I talk to my counselor about. It gives me a place where I can ask God questions and discern my next steps.
This has been so helpful because lately some of my biggest struggles have involved putting the things we talk about into action. Yet today, I am better than I was a year ago because God heard and answered my prayers. He’s been with me…He is with you…and He sees you and will see you through!
Sitting here reflecting on what my life looks like today… I have relationships with all of my children; my wife and I have an awesome marriage and will be married for 24 years on June 3; and (despite some hard-fought battles with depression, anxiety agoraphobia and severe panic attacks brought to the surface from some acute health issues) I haven’t really struggled with my mental health for the better part of a year.
And I get to tell my story almost daily. (That’s amazing!)
One might argue that it is easy to see how God has answered many prayers in my life. While this is definitely the case…if I was to be completely transparent, most days, with the velocity of a life with four kids…two who play multiple sports, one who is currently in college, and our oldest is arguably one of the best and busiest barbers in Central Pennsylvania…it can be really easy to turn on auto pilot.
I personally have to be really intentional about connecting and hearing from the Holy Spirit and the direction He wants me to proceed with in every aspect of my life.
I wish that I naturally had the discipline, perseverance and resilience that my wife, Jennifer, has. She truly is the glue that has held our family together.
I was recently reminded that, for about 10 years during the worst of my addiction, my sweet wife laid hands on me every single night and prayed a prayer that couldn’t have been easy to pray. She prayed – not to be removed from her current situation, and not even for my addiction to be removed from me – but she prayed that I would somehow reignite a relationship with the One who knows me best.
I have had many conversations with her about how she could possibly lay hands on me given the wake of destruction that I often left on any given night. Her answer? She says she knew, if that happened, the rest would take care of itself.
By praying for what she did, she gave our family the best opportunity for hope, healing and wholeness. That took a faith that God continues to use to propel our family into His plan and purpose for our lives, despite what, at times, seemed like insurmountable obstacles.
So, what does intentionality in my prayer life look like on a day-to-day basis?
First, I think it is really cool that we no longer have to submit our requests to anyone. We can connect with the Creator of the universe at any time…morning, noon or night, and talk to Him…have a relationship with Him.
A pastor friend once said to me, “Yes, Jesus wants you to step off the boat to Him. But He also wants you to chill on the beach with Him.” Isn’t that crazy and awesome? The Creator of the universe wants to chop it up with me simply because He loves me.
So, most days I start out by free writing three pages of notes and doodles…whatever comes to mind, I write. Next, I read a devotional or Scriptures. I am blessed that, on any given day, I have no less than four Scriptures sent to me via text from friends and those close to me.
Next, I listen…then I talk to Him…and then I listen again. I try to listen more than I talk because, when I’m talking, He is listening and, it’s my belief that He is smarter than me. I have an ongoing dialogue in my head with God on most days.
And this always brings up the question, “How do you hear from God?” Which rings in the most important tool that I utilize, which is my journal.
It, like my mind, is a mess at times, but I’ve learned through my recovery and walk with Jesus to share all of my thoughts in it. It spends most days with me in a backpack, on car rides, on airplanes and in restaurants. It has been my trusty companion for the better part of 10 years.
Through my journal, God spoke to me about The Landing when I was only six months sober. It holds Sunday sermon notes and doodles, as well as thoughts and reflections on what I talk to my counselor about. It gives me a place where I can ask God questions and discern my next steps.
This has been so helpful because lately some of my biggest struggles have involved putting the things we talk about into action. Yet today, I am better than I was a year ago because God heard and answered my prayers. He’s been with me…He is with you…and He sees you and will see you through!
Verse to Memorize
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)
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